My Ten Reasons The World Will Not End on 12/21/12

 

EndOfTheWorld-21-may-2011

10. Ed McMahon hasn’t delivered my Publisher’s Clearinghouse Check.

9. Hell hasn’t even caught a chill.

8. Looking for ‘em; not seeing ‘em; flying pigs.

7. Still hoping for more than double digit twitter followers

6. Started multiple “next great American” novels but none are finished

5. The handbasket carting me off to hell has yet to be delivered.

4. Sheldon has yet to bazinga Amy Farrah Fowler

3. My GPS can’t locate the fiscal cliff and I have Boehner hogtied in the back of the truck.

2. My sex bucket list is woefully incomplete.

1. Salivating the Surface and not got one yet.

What are yours? We got plenty of time to share!